The Jar Bag

Is Aarakshan possible in Corruption?

2011-08-28T10:29:00.000-07:00

Education is the best business today - dialogue from Aarakshan.
Corruption is the best practice - mentality of most humans

I just watched Aarakshan. Its a movie about how corruption has seeped into something as noble as education as well. Future of Young India is decided by those who have money and those who would go to any lengths to make money. The movie had all the regular subjects that would complete a typical Prakash Jha syllabus. But the after taste of this movie, as is with most such kind of movies, felt a bit unreal, stretched beyond the realms of practicality.

For example, one man standing against the entire system comprised of education big-wigs, politicians, police and running a parallel education system in a satyagraha kind of way would seem rather impractical and far removed from reality.

Immediately after watching the movie, my mom told me of an incident that has left me sad, angry and yet again, cynical. When in Chennai, she used to teach at one of the most prestigious schools of the city. The school had an impeccable reputation and prided itself for being a non-biased school. Only the really good students got in and all of them passed out as even better students. No donation, no reservation, no reference was known to work at school.

Today mom told me a story of how the answer sheet of an influential man's son was changed during board exams!!!!!! Apparently when the answer sheet was collected and taken to the staff room, all teachers were asked to leave. The student was called in, his paper removed from the bunch and he was made to correct/ fill in all the answers that he had written wrongly or left incomplete. And we are talking here of 12th standard Board Exams!!!!!!! He was the son of a movie star! How does he even care about marks? Its not clear whether this was done under pressure from the father or by the school to protect its own reputation of being the number 1 with no failures ever.

Either way, I am disgusted. My mom quit the school soon after but that is all she could do. She is a common (wo)man. She didn't know any better. She was no Big B who challenged the whole system and got the entire city together to stand united for a tangible common cause.

She also told me of the time when she heard of the principle taking bribe from a student, of him having his son being taught by my mom and thus telling my mom to make exceptions with his son. And the same principle orating profuse speeches during the assembly, coaxing young students to always chose the right path, by being the mentor to young impressionable minds! Such double standards!

Today the nation is a-buzz with chants of Anna Hazare. The timing of me watching the movie was bang on. As I sat in the theater watching the movie unfold and thinking to myself, "Oh its just a movie and no common man can give in to the political pressure, blackmail and avoid the dirt of corruption", I was immediately reminded that right now, at this very moment, one man in India has done exactly this. Anna Hazare has done what most movies have shown year after year, the rise of a common man against the powerful, dirty, loathing political system.

You know how thoughts are - contradicting, conflicting all the time. I have not been a supporter of the Anna Movement that India witnessed in the last few days. I don't mean I have been against the man himself, on the contrary, I applaud the spirit of the man for having brought the whole country together the way he did. No news of violence anywhere, people fasting in support, people taking to the streets day after day, it was all really really fantastic. My grouse has been with the unprecedented support and hype that the movement got. Like my friend Arundhati Ghosh mentioned in her article, my grouse has been against the externalization of corruption. And it remains thus.

The whole country is joyous with what is being called the Anna-pendence Day. People are on the roads celebrating today like its a festival. They say Indian has won today.

I wish I could be a part of this celebration too. I wish I could feel the way the whole country is feeling today. But I don't.

My mother supports Anna Hazare. With a hope that tomorrow will come a day when she and many like her will be able to openly oppose corruption. After days of speculation I have understood that the masses are supporting the cause because they think that with the Lokpal Bill, corruption will find a punishment center, a court where justice will be granted.

But who will justice be granted to against whom? The school principle who accepted bribes for personal gain or the teachers who were forced to change the answer sheet of a film star's son? Will justice be done for people who pay bribes for convenience or will justice be done to those who are forced to pay bribes because there is no other option?

Corruption seems to have touched everyone of us, in some way of the other. There are times when we have been a part of it and then there are times when we have been spectators to it. And today is a time when we are protesters against it. But the actual revolution will happen when we decide to change our own ways so that we, in no way, allow ourselves to be perpetrators of it.

Ann-a-other day has gone by, but Picture abhi baaki hai!

2011-08-25T03:04:00.000-07:00

So - I haven't been watching TV over the last few days. There is no reason to watch TV anyway. Nothing new seems to be happening. Except for Anna completed one more day of fasting. Team Anna in a deadlock with the Government. Anna Hazare is the 2nd Gandhi. His health is ok. And so on and so forth.

I haven't attempted reading news papers either. Whats the point. XYZ people formed human chains. ABC are fasting along with Anna. Lakhs of people hit the streets to be a part of this new revolution. Young and old join hands in unity to create history.

So in a nut shell, Anna is the 2nd Gandhi and the entire country is supporting him in order to feel like they are a part of something larger than life. So what really is going on in India? A patriotic Bollywood movie with all its masala. And to spice up the masala, throw in a Baba Ramdev as well - its almost a complete entertainer. And maybe that is what it is after all.

All of India's middle class is apparently out on streets in support of Anna Hazare. And I really commend the man for being able to garner the support that he has. I really salute the man for having been able to stir an otherwise indifferent lazy nation. But it also gives me cause for concern. The middle class that is supporting him, is it really "supporting" him or is this just another vent for their frustration that they face in their daily lives? Like in the movie 'A Wednesday', the frustrated common man had taken to an extreme step to vent his frustration, isn't this looking like a similar movie, albeit a non violent one?

Is the Indian Middle Class today willing to eradicate corruption from the root level? Sure we would all be happier if we did not have to bribe the useless babus, cops etc etc. But do we wonder why they have gotten used to taking bribes in the first place? What is corruption and to what level is it prevalent, have we stopped to wonder?

Incident: A friend of mine has his BBM updates around Anna. "I support Anna Hazare". "I too want a corruption free India". "Anna Hazare, we are with you". The other day he and I were going to somewhere and he wanted to enter the club from the back gate. We pointed out that its not allowed. His response "Arrey I'll just give the guard 50 bucks and he will let us enter"!!!!! Now this is a good friend of mine so I am not passing any judgement but all Im saying is that there really seems to be no merit to this 'andolan'. The common man supporting this cause does NOT understand the damn cause. On argument with my friend he said, "chota mota corruption chalta hai. We need to fight it at the top level'. I am sorry but I don't get it. If we are corrupt at our level, woh chalta hai?

And in his words was possibly the voice of all those lakhs of people who are out on the streets supporting Anna Hazare. I get a feeling, we all want a clean system without wanting to change our own ways. Thats chicken and egg situation, is it not?

Another friend argued with me, "The system needs to change if corruption needs to end". What system are be talking about? A system that is comprised of people. And as long as there are people in a position of power, there is bound to be "temptation" to give in to easier ways of life. So eradicating corruption is like saying we want to fight with one of the 7 sins that are intrinsic to human psyche. Who is to say that the committees that will be set up for the Lokpal Bill over years will not give in to this human psyche. It took a Spider Man to live his life based on "With great power comes great responsibility". In today's world, "with great power comes great opportunity to misuse it", isn't it?

People say that for the time being, a shake up was required to bring this rotting topic of corruption to focus. Great that it has been. What next? The Jan Lokpal Bill has many a loop holes and honestly, I am sick and tired of committees and panels and bills and more people being given power to govern me, administer me, watch me all the damn time. I do not choose to have more people in power and thus be given to the temptation.

Having said all of the above and not being a part of this mass-ive movement and almost being cynical to all of this (rare for me to not be moved by the goings on of my country), I must admit I am humbled by the man Anna Hazare. There must be something in him that wasn't there in Irom Sharmila that has managed to get him the mass support and not her. There must be something about this man that has attracted the common man and the non to common man (aka Rajnikanth, Lata Mangeshkar, Om Puri and the likes) to extend their support to him.

I wonder and then I wonder why my heart is not into this. I don't have answers, just speculations. Speculations that oscillate from wondering why a noble man would call himself 2nd Gandhi to why is Team Anna allowing the likes of Baba Ramdev to bask in the limelight, to wondering why the insistence to "pass" the bill as opposed to "lets talk about it" and to wondering whether this is blackmail or not. And as I wonder, I come across this (the link below).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G4zRHEw21h8&feature=share

It could be a government conspiracy to malign this noble man or it could be the truth behind the scenes. I do not think the man's credibility ought to be doubted but at the same time, when its a movie, a Bollywood one at that, who is to say what is truth and what is far from truth?

Maybe he is real or maybe he is a damn good marketing campaign that has caught the fancy of the nation. Time will tell and we all will wait and watch.

Dear Anna Hazare ji - with respect Sir, can we have some respect for the Constitution and Democracy of India?

2011-08-16T23:00:00.001-07:00

I am not sure I support Anna Hazare. I mean the cause is right. But the fight needs to be against the root-cause instead of making this an anti-govt drive. No doubt UPA is reacting stupidly but that's another story. As of now, the country doesn't need its youth in jails as much as it needs them in the parliament, in positions of change. Corruption is like cockroaches - spreads almost everywhere, all the time. India is not the only victim just like the current Govt is not the only perpetrator. With respect Mr. Anna Hazare, but right channelization of your movement will see better results. We have enough tamasha in our lives already for there to be more.

Our current government or political parties is not like the British ages ago that was "imposed" on us and hence there was a Quit India Movement against it. The current set of people have been elected by us. If we don't like them, lets start a movement to get better people on board. Lets start a movement to change the Constitution. But going against the current Constitution isn't being very responsible, is it now? We need to lead by example and if one wants to fight corruption, then one must start with being a law-abiding citizen. Why doesn't Anna form his own political party and show the nation that politics can exist without corruption? I am sure if Anna stands for elections today, he will win. Why doesn't he garner the courage to run the country? Its easy to run a protest - why doesn't he run a clean, non-corrupt government and show to everyone that Good can truly prevail. Running a country is no joke. Getting people to protest mind-less-ly unfortunately is easier, especially in our herd-mentality country.

What is the need for so much angst? What is the need to aggravate the people in power? Why cant the people of India be channelized in the right direction? I want to know how many people who have been a part of the demonstration yesterday will actually not bribe a cop if they get stopped for something. How many people in the so called "anti corruption drive" will not pay school donation and instead put their children in Kendriya Vidyalayas? How many people in support of Anna Hazare will vote the next time, stand for elections themselves, leave their cushy jobs and get into government services? How many people really understand this fight for corruption?

What is the whole country fighting for and fighting against? Really now people. If we want to stand united, aren't there other ways of doing so instead of trying so desperately to recreate and be a part of the Gandhian Movement?

Pull out those chaddis, its time.

2011-06-15T10:33:00.000-07:00

Its time to bring the Pink Chaddis back.

In the recent past, the one movement that I have been proud of, the only movement that I really thought brought the thinking-feeling youth of the country together was the Pink Chaddi campaign against Mutalik. Remember that one? It was bloody effective. And engaging. And empowering. And let’s not forget, impactful as well. This was one movement that I thought followed the Gandhian principle, as preached by Munnabhai MBBS, quite effectively.

And it was probably because, as democratically as is possible, it was by the youth, for the youth of this country.

I find this word “youth” much abused in today’s context however. Much like the over-used ‘Mumbai spirit’. What does either of it really mean? Who does it really represent? Who actually benefits by all these so-called Youth-movements?
I am the youth of this country (well 30 is not too far from the youth mark), and ask me, how many of these so called youth-movements either matter to me or involve me or even make me want to stop to think about it.

A few months back, I got sucked into one of them. The Anna Hazare Anti Corruption Movement that media said had awakened the ‘youth’ of this country to start a revolution. A few months back I was at India Gate and Jantar Mantar, shouting slogans of “Anna tum sangharsh karo, hum tumhare saath hain”. My ass, hum tumhare saath hain! I did believe in the non-agenda man then, thinking it’s a relevant issue he has brought up to stimulate the masses and get them moving from a state of inertia to at least giving it a thought. It was noble in its nature as it was then, a strong knock on not just the government’s doors but on each of our conscience too. Of course I wanted to be a part of it for that and like me, many others too. Media lapped up the ‘revolution’ and aptly called it the awakening of the youth, thanks to the ageing Anna. Good job, clap clap.

Today it’s a stinking, rotting propaganda. I want to slap Baba Ramdev for having spoilt the momentum of what was supposed to be a non-personal-agenda driven movement. But let Baba be as he may be, I am really not even for our dear Anna Hazare’s stance anymore. What kind of messages is he sending out now? When did this become an anti government movement? Why has it become an anti government movement in the first place? Is the ruling government the only corrupt entity in this vast country? Will only maligning the government help this “noble” cause achieve its real goal? What is happening around us? I am flabbergasted.

Baba Ramdev says he will form a “sena” to fight corruption. Anna Hazare says he will continue “blackmailing” through fasting if need be. He has also said that Digvijay Singh should go to the mental hospital in Pune as that is where he belongs. Kapil Sibal is wondering how the Lokpal bill will help at all while Digvijay Singh claims to respect Anna Hazare but not the manner in which he is going about this movement.

What the hell! And then the media says, it’s a youth movement. Sure. Which of the above noble-doers is young, pray tell, or even cares about the young? Actually, which of the above care about anything at all? It’s all boiled down to, as always, a battle of egos, verbal wars, mud-slinging and news channel TRPs. Dear Gandhian Anna Hazare today spews venom as strongly as all other able politicians. Did Gandhiji mean this when he had initiated non-violent protests? Aren’t verbal attacks same as violence? Isn’t the outcome of both detrimental, negative and non-constructive to society at large?

It’s a pity, what India has been reduced to and even more a pity, how the “youth” is used as trump cards for anything and everything depending on people’s whims! I don’t support Anna Hazare anymore. I abhor Baba Ramdev. I detest everyone who is a part of this joke any further and I pity the youth, on whose expense this ‘tamasha’ is being pitched. I almost feel foolish for my post below – it holds no merit now.

As for us youth - I think it’s time for us to pull out our Pink chaddis now. Or maybe this time it should be yellow – yellow yellow for dirty fellow. Or red, for red red su-su on the bed. Or any other color – whatever suites our fancy or convenience. Whatever it takes to put an end to this nonsense now. Really, its time.

The magic show. Anna Hazare - the magician!

2011-04-09T00:47:00.000-07:00

8th April, 2011. 6:00pm. India Gate. New Delhi.

Rossy and I went to India Gate to light a candle.

We had been receiving sms's all day from various people about the show of solidarity across the country in support of Anna Hazare's Fast unto Death fight against corruption. At first we didn't think much of it. As a matter of fact, till the day before, we hadn't thought of it at all. It had seemed like one of those many news bits that come and go. But yesterday, as the day progressed, sms's and Facebook invitations got us curious about whats going on. We switched on the News channels and were 'switched on'!

I am in Delhi right now and immediately had the urge to go pay respect to the man who is selflessly doing this for a cause that might or might not see any light at the end of the tunnel. Yet this 73 year old has placed his belief before all optimism, pessimism and realism to fight a cause. Fight the cause he may, but what Anna Hazare has done also is that he has woken up a sleeping nation. And what a wake up call that was!!!

We reached India Gate at 6:00pm. The atmosphere was calm, regular, pleasant. Lots of cops, few TV vans, few people hanging around.

On our way as we had crossed Janpath, we had seen almost everybody with a yellow badge pinned to their clothes. I couldn't get hold of one myself but I figured it was in support of Anna. I was impressed to note that people had at least spared 2 seconds of their busy life to have thought about this and at least worn a badge to show their support. I was of course in for the surprise of my life to note that it wasn't just 2 seconds that a "few" people had spared to think about this. What I was going to witness was a revolution.

It began with a few more and a few more walking in with banners. Mostly young college kids and a lady who looked like a Social activist. The first batch of 30-40 came in and formed a circle, familiarizing all of us with the slogans for the day.

"Anna tum sangharsh karo, hum tumhare saath hain"
"Fight corruption, start a revolution"
"Ek do teen chaar, band karo yeh bhrashtachaar'
"Gali gali main shor hai, saare neta chor hain"

So on and so forth. I laughed at it first. The only one that made sense to me was the 1st one addressed to Anna. The rest seemed like those college naara's with no meaning. In fact I wondered if all these kids shouting out the slogans really understood what it meant to end corruption. Would we all realize that its ok to be a little in-convenienced but not to bribe the cops when caught for drunken driving? Would we really stop taking short cuts in life just to do the "right thing"? I almost mocked at this rally.

But I hung around because in my mind I was there to show solidarity to a man who was noble enough to risk his health for a selfless cause. How could we not pay our respects to him, at the least.

Soon, more people poured in and before I knew it, there were thousands of us - kids, youngsters, people and more people. People who were charged up. People who were mere spectators. People who wanted to make a difference. People who were indifferent. People who shouted slogans and clapped. People who silently waved the Indian flag. The serene scene at India Gate changed.

A fantastic street play, slogans after slogans, The national anthem, Jai Hind and Bharat Mata ki Jai reverberated all around and most people looked like they meant it, they believed in it. At that moment, thousands and thousands seemed united - maybe for a cause or maybe just to acknowledge that there indeed is a problem in our system.

We started from India Gate towards Janpath and more people joined in the way. Traffic stopped, people stopped, to let us pass as we shouted out in unity and for the first time in my life I witnessed what could clearly have been called a revolution. It suddenly became really clear what the 1940's must have been like. How Gandhiji must have mobilized people. It became apparent that we had in fact descended from those very people who had participated in the Dandi March, who had fasted for days and months and even suffered in jails for a common cause. What happened last night was minute in comparison but it assured me that if ever there should be a need for us Indians to unite, we will, just like our previous generation had just about 70 years ago.

It took us about 45 mins to reach Jantar Mantar where Anna Hazare had stationed himself. The thousands of people immediately multiplied into tens of thousands of people. Shamiana, patriotic songs, people dancing, singing, chanting slogans - I have no words to describe. Euphoria. Trance. Madness. Unity. No one cared about the pungent urine stink, no one cared about the claustrophobic crowds, no one cared about the dust, dirt or any such thing. In a way its crazy - the crowd frenzy, the mob mentality but in a way its overwhelming, awe-inspiring.

Of course while we stood there we heard that the government had agreed to Anna's demands. Of course while we stood there a lot of us wondered what would come out of this. I am sure a lot of us speculated about what next and whether this would indeed make a difference. All of us had the same question in our minds and continue to whether each one of us will take up this cause of corruption and make changes to our own ways of life. I don't know what the eventual outcome will be. I don't know if India will change and become a cleaner country, I don't know if the cops, the politicians and us citizens will not want to "make" money more than we deserve but I do know that we as a country still has the appetite to make magic happen if need be and if a magician does call opon us to volunteer.

Talk...thats the only way!

2009-01-09T21:46:00.000-08:00

I know I have been silent for sometime, despite my commitment to keep writing here so that the memories of the most heinous act of cruelty on innocent lives isn't lost. Reason was that I thought before I talk more and just keep talking, maybe I should also figure out what can be done and I got a little busy figuring that out.

I thought and deliberated and thought and deliberated. And then I asked myself, why is it that only a few of us have been moved by the events of 26/11. Why is that even fewer of us want to do something about this. Why is it that only a handful of us are willing to take initiative regarding this or anything else that affects our society.

And to my mind it is because it is just a few of us who have been "sensitivised" (that's my own coinage by the way) towards our environment. For better or for worse (especially for some who have had enough of putting up with my notes), I am sort of "sensitivised". There obviously is a lot more to be desired but I think I might well be on the path. However, I don't remember my parents or my teachers or my friends having sat me down anytime specific to tell me how I should be aware and sensitive to the goings-on around me. I don't remember any particular event happening in my life that might have made me a little more "feely" about such things. I guess it just happened and I just am.

It IS important to be sensitivised. Only if we are will we try change the wrong in society. Only if we are will we stand up and take notice. If we are not, we will only continue to lead passive lives of cribbing and still putting up with the shit. Which may be fine by a lot of people, which again is an outcome of how aware an individual is about his own life.

So going forward, I don't think we can afford to leave it to chance and hope other people will be aware and sensitive towards their environment. Maybe I turned out this way like a few others did but at large, such a "sensitive" thing cannot be left to chance.

I am hoping Archish will start spreading the required awareness that I personally feel is important. As for every other "sensitivised" soul, Archish or not, awareness can still be spread.

Awareness can be spread by COMMUNICATION, by TALKING. Now I know I sound pathetically like the Condom ad (something to do with "Say it out aloud") but I guess this is the only way to deal with issues.

We should talk as much and as often and to as many people as is possible. Talk to friends, to siblings, to peers. Even talk to the auto wallas, taxi wallas, the maid, her kids, the left man, the security guy, anyone and everyone. In fact more with the less privileged (than us) because it is very very important that their minds are molded the right way. Like it or not, they form the masses and the masses form the nation.

And if you think about it, it might not be so difficult a task. Next time we are in a public transport, strike up a conversation and you will be surprised at how reciprocating some of these guys can be. When I was in Mumbai, I used to chat up the auto wallas and the taxi wallas all the time (Bangalore is a bit tough with the goons running the show here, autos to be more precise). But out of 10, if even 2 give us a hearing, its a needle moved.

Typical Human Spirit - die, cry, shout and then move on!

2008-12-11T22:55:00.000-08:00

Its been sometime now that the Mumbai terror attacks took place. The smoke from the Taj has settled, the debris cleared, the news channels have returned to their regular news along with numerous commercial breaks and the candle lighting has come to a stand still. People have resumed their regular life, even in Mumbai and the outcry from public is rare now.

The few who had decided not to let the steam fizzle, not to let the anger die are being questioned as to why cant they move on with their lives, like every one else has. Maybe people should move on, maybe they shouldn't. I have no real opinion on this but when I read sporadic excerpts from the survivors from that fateful night, I ask myself, can we except them to forget? And if they can't, why should we?

Here is a spine chilling narration from Michael Pollack, general partner of Glenhill Capital. Read this and decide for yourselves if we really can allow ourselves to be so passive that even something like is so soon forgotten.

My story begins innocuously, with a dinner reservation in a world-class hotel. It ends 12 hours later after the Indian army freed us. My point is not to sensationalize events. It is to express my gratitude and pay tribute to the staff of the Taj Mahal Hotel in Mumbai, who sacrificed their lives so that we could survive. They,along with the Indian army, are the true heroes that emerged from this tragedy.

My wife, Anjali, and I were married in the Taj's Crystal Ballroom. Her parents were married there, too, and so were Shiv and Reshma, thecouple with whom we had dinner plans. In fact, my wife and Reshma, both Bombay girls, grew up hanging out and partying the night away there and at the Oberoi Hotel, another terrorist target.

The four of us arrived at the Taj around 9:30 p.m. for dinner at the Golden Dragon, one of the better Chinese restaurants in Mumbai. We were a little early, and our table wasn't ready. So we walked next door to the Harbour Bar and had barely begun to enjoy our beers when the host told us our table was ready. We decided to stay and finish our drinks.

Thirty seconds later, we heard what sounded like a heavy tray smashing to the ground. This was followed by 20 or 30 similar sounds and then absolute silence. We crouched behind a table just feet away from what we now knew were gunmen. Terrorists had stormed the lobby and were firing indiscriminately.

We tried to break the glass window in front of us with a chair, but it wouldn't budge. The Harbour Bar's hostess, who had remained at her post, motioned to us that it was safe to make a run for the stairwell. She mentioned, in passing, that there was a dead body right outside in the corridor. We believe this courageous woman was murdered after we ran away.

(We later learned that minutes after we climbed the stairs, terrorists came into the Harbour Bar, shot everyone who was there and executed those next door at the Golden Dragon. The staff there was equally brave, locking their patrons into a basement wine cellar to protect them. But the terrorists managed to break through and lob in grenades that killed everyone in the basement.)

We took refuge in the small office of the kitchen of another restaurant, Wasabi, on the second floor. Its chef and staff served the four of us food and drink and even apologized for the inconvenience we were suffering.

Through text messaging, e-mail on BlackBerrys and a small TV in the office, we realized the full extent of the terrorist attack on Mumbai.We figured we were in a secure place for the moment. There was also no way out.

At around 11:30 p.m., the kitchen went silent. We took a massive wooden table and pushed it up against the door, turned off all the lights and hid. All of the kitchen workers remained outside; not one staff member had run.

The terrorists repeatedly slammed against our door. We heard them ask the chef in Hindi if anyone was inside the office. He responded calmly: "No one is in there. It's empty." That is the second time the Taj staff saved our lives.

After about 20 minutes, other staff members escorted us down a corridor to an area called The Chambers, a members-only area of the hotel. There were about 250 people in six rooms. Inside, the staff was serving sandwiches and alcohol. People were nervous, but cautiously optimistic. We were told The Chambers was the safest place we could be because the army was now guarding its two entrances and the streets were still dangerous. There had been attacks at a major railway station and a hospital.

But then, a member of parliament phoned into a live newscast and let the world know that hundreds of people--including CEOs, foreigners and members of parliament--were "secure and safe in The Chambers together." Adding to the escalating tension and chaos was the fact that, via text and cellphone, we knew that the dome of the Taj was on fire and that it could move downward. At around 2 a.m., the staff attempted an evacuation. We all lined up to head down a dark fire escape exit. But after five minutes, grenade blasts and automatic weapon fire pierced the air. A mad stampede ensued to get out of the stairwell and take cover back inside The Chambers.

After that near-miss, my wife and I decided we should hide in different rooms. While we hoped to be together at the end, our primary obligation was to our children. We wanted to keep one parent alive.Because I am American and my wife is Indian, and news reports said the terrorists were targeting U.S. and U.K. nationals, I believed I would
further endanger her life if we were together in a hostage situation.

So when we ran back to The Chambers I hid in a toilet stall with a floor-to-ceiling door and my wife stayed with our friends, who fled to a large room across the hall.

For the next seven hours, I lay in the fetal position, keeping in touch with Anjali via BlackBerry. I was joined in the stall by Joe, a Nigerian national with a U.S. green card. I managed to get in touch with the FBI, and several agents gave me status updates throughout the night.

I cannot even begin to explain the level of adrenaline running through my system at this point. It was this hyper-aware state where every sound, every smell, every piece of information was ultra-acute, analyzed and processed so that we could make the best decisions and maximize the odds of survival.

Was the fire above us life-threatening? What floor was it on? Were the commandos near us, or were they terrorists? Why is it so quiet? Did the commandos survive? If the terrorists come into the bathroom and to the door, when they fire in, how can I make my body as small as possible? If Joe gets killed before me in this situation, how can I throw his body on mine to barricade the door? If the Indian commandos liberate the rest in the other room, how will they know where I am? Do the terrorists have suicide vests? Will the roof stand? How can I make sure the FBI knows where Anjali and I are? When is it safe to stand up and attempt to urinate?

Meanwhile, Anjali and the others were across the corridor in a mass of people lying on the floor and clinging to each other. People barely moved for seven hours, and for the last three hours they felt it was too unsafe to even text. While I was tucked behind a couple walls of marble and granite in my toilet stall, she was feet from bullets
flying back and forth. After our failed evacuation, most of the people in the fire escape stairwell and many staff members who attempted to protect the guests were shot and killed.

The 10 minutes around 2:30 a.m. were the most frightening. Rather than the back-and-forth of gunfire, we just heard single, punctuated shots. We later learned that the terrorists went along a different corridor of The Chambers, room by room, and systematically executed everyone: women, elderly, Muslims, Hindus, foreigners. A group huddled next to Anjali was devout Bori Muslims who would have been slaughtered just like everyone else, had the terrorists gone into their room. Everyone was in deep prayer and most, Anjali included, had accepted that their
lives were likely over. It was terrorism in its purest form. No one was spared.

The next five hours were filled with the sounds of an intense grenade/gun battle between the Indian commandos and the terrorists. It was fought in darkness; each side was trying to outflank the other.

By the time dawn broke, the commandos had successfully secured our corridor. A young commando led out the people packed into Anjali's room. When one woman asked whether it was safe to leave, the commando replied: "Don't worry, you have nothing to fear. The first bullets have to go through me."

The corridor was laced with broken glass and bullet casings. Every table was turned over or destroyed. The ceilings and walls were littered with hundreds of bullet holes. Blood stains were everywhere, though, fortunately, there were no dead bodies to be seen.

A few minutes after Anjali had vacated, Joe and I peeked out of our stall. We saw multiple commandos and smiled widely. I had lost my right shoe while sprinting to the toilet so I grabbed a sheet from the floor, wrapped it around my foot and proceeded to walk over the debris to the hotel lobby.

Anjali and I embraced for the first time in seven hours in the Taj's ground floor entrance. I didn't know whether she was dead or injured because we hadn't been able to text for the past three hours. I wanted to take a picture of us on my BlackBerry, but Anjali wanted us to get out of there before doing anything.

She was right--our ordeal wasn't completely over. A large bus pulled up in front of the Taj to collect us and, just about as it was fully loaded, gunfire erupted again. The terrorists were still alive and firing automatic weapons at the bus. Anjali was the last to get on the bus, and she eventually escaped in our friend's car. I ducked under some concrete barriers for cover and wound up the subject of photos that were later splashed across the media. Shortly thereafter, an ambulance came and drove a few of us to safety. An hour later, Anjali and I were again reunited at her parents' home. Our Thanksgiving had just gained a lot more meaning.

Some may say our survival was due to random luck, others might credit divine intervention. But 72 hours removed from these events, I can assure you only one thing: Far fewer people would have survived if it weren't for the extreme selflessness shown by the Taj staff, who organized us, catered to us and then, in the end, literally died for us. They complemented the extreme bravery and courage of the Indian commandos, who, in a pitch-black setting and unfamiliar, tightly packed terrain, valiantly held the terrorists at bay.

It is also amazing that, out of our entire group, not one person screamed or panicked. There was an eerie but quiet calm that pervaded--one more thing that got us all out alive. Even people in adjacent rooms, who were being executed, kept silent.It is much easier to destroy than to build, yet somehow humanity has managed to build far more than it has ever destroyed. Likewise, in a period of crisis, it is much easier to find faults and failings rather than to celebrate the good deeds. It is now time to commemorate our heroes.

When we all got together

2008-12-10T20:26:00.000-08:00

We had the most amazing turn out at Major Unnikrishnan's Prayer Service held at The Frank Anthony Public School, Bangalore, on 5th December, 2008. Alumni and non-alumni turned up in a large number and the ceremony itself was hugely emotional. I will elaborate on the same in my next post, but first, here is something that I had circulated to all present there and want to share it here as well.

Dear Fellow Alumni,

It is indeed overwhelming to know that we have been strongly moved by the courage and valor of Major Sandeep Unnikrishnan and that we all realize that the brave soldier gave up his life to save our own.

We would never know what it took for the brave souls that fateful night to stare the terrorists in their eyes, face their bullets and not care about their own lives. None of us sitting safe here would ever know what it means for a soldier to chase death in order to save millions whom he doesn’t even know.

But all of us sitting here can acknowledge and respect the cause for which Major Sandeep Unnikrishnan and other brave hearts fought to death – the cause of Fighting Terrorism. And all of us here can pledge that we will stand up for this cause in whatever way is possible.

War or hatred or finger pointing is not the answer. Being a RESPONSIBLE CITIZEN is.

If each one of us can resolve to be responsible, resolve to not lead passive lives and resolve to contribute to our society, we can ensure that more brave soldiers would not need to lay their lives in vain.

Being responsible does not mean changing our lives, it just means changing our attitudes.

On this day, when we have come together to pray for the bravest amongst us, let us pay tribute to him by resolving that each one of us will be responsible;

• Let us respect each and ever security personnel at Airports, Offices etc and allow them to do their jobs, even if it takes two minutes more of our time.

• Let us curb hatred. Terrorists do not belong to any religion/ any place. There is nothing we will gain by hating other communities or religions.

• Let us not add to corruption any more. Even if it means getting a ticket, let us resolve to go the right way instead of the easy way.

• Let us spread awareness and education amongst the less fortunate. Start with the house maid, her kids, but realize that education is the best weapon we can equip anyone with.

• Let us make sure we Vote. Even if it means casting the 49-0 vote, we should Vote.

• Let us not exploit anyone and also not allow anyone to exploit us. If it means not paying the auto guy extra but waiting for another honest one to come after 10mins, so be it.

• Let us never forget what happened on 26/11in Mumbai so that we never allow the authorities to forget either. We should never let them forget what their callousness has resulted in and that we will not tolerate their irresponsibility anymore or fall prey to their ineptness

Each one of us can make a difference – we have heard that and ignored that long enough. Its time now to believe in it, act on it and thus pay real tribute to those who had to give up their lives to wake us up. It indeed is Now or Never.

Badge we can all wear

2008-12-03T02:09:00.000-08:00

Thank you for wearing white

2008-12-01T08:04:00.000-08:00

My phone kept beeping last evening and one after the other, there were messages pouring in asking people to wear White on 1st December, today.

I ignored the first, I ignored the second but after the third, it got me thinking. To begin with, I realized, each sms had come from friends from different cities which meant that people across the nation were probably all willing to endorse this gesture.

What I was dismissing initially as some pop-gesture struck me as the first opportunity to show unity with friends and people in general. So I quickly took out my phone and sent a message to everyone on my phone list asking them to wear white - not as a mark of mourning, but as a display of resolution - our resolution to stand united and demand peace, our resolution to not give up this time, not as yet, not for a long time to come.

I woke up this morning and saw some responses that exactly matched my initial reaction to wearing white. People messaged me saying they did not want to subscribe to such lip service, telling me that nothing will happen by wearing white, that no change will come by wearing white. Last evening I might have agreed, but this morning was different for me.

I decided not to argue with those who did not want to subscribe to me plea, not to try convince them, not to make a big deal of this. My objective of wearing white and passing on the message was the same as is for writing this blog - to act upon my convictions and if people fall in line, great, if not, someday they will.

I put on my white and as I walked into office, I saw colleague after colleague, all in white, smiling at me with that knowing look of "we all DO share the sentiment and we all are pained with the loss". As I walked into office, I knew my decision to pass on the message was right and that people ARE willing to unite for a cause.

Thank you all for wearing white. No change has come about today by having done so. Deshmukh did not resign because we wore white. The Patils did not step down because we wore white. But wearing white brought a sense of re-assurance and encouragement to me and maybe others.

Re-assurance that whatever said and done, there is a possibility of uniting for a cause, that there is a chance that we all might forget our personal opinions and biases, that peace still has hope.

If the few of us hadn't worn white today to show solidarity, I would have thought it is going to be an uphill task getting people aligned. Because if people cannot do something as small and trivial as wear White, if they have to have an opinion even on this, then how are we ever going to fall in line for bigger things tomorrow, even though we have all sworn that we will bring about the change that is so badly required in the country.

Wearing white was not as significant as knowing that this time, it is not a lost battle we are willing to fight.

Thank you all for wearing white. Today this has been a beginning. Tomorrow this is going to bring the revolution we all want to see and someday, white will prevail, peace will win.

2008-11-30T07:29:00.000-08:00

Its been 4 days now since the ghastly terror attacks began. Absolutely all news channels covered the tragedy 24/7 without a commercial break. The entire country watched non-stop and almost even bragged about how they have been following the events diligently.

My eyes are now on the clock. I'm wondering how long it will be before everything returns back to normal and we forget all the angst and the anger and get absorbed in our daily humdrum again. I am wondering because the past says this is what happens all the time.

Every time there is a national calamity, India suddenly comes together and makes empty promises of doing something about it, about not letting things go by easily. Every time disaster hits the nation, media takes the mantle to lead the show but then looses track almost immediately. Every time we are faced with tragedy, we talk and then we forget.

Will we do the same this time around as well? Will we continue living helplessly and will we continue the numb existence even now? I know we will all say NO right now because the anger is alive right now. Right now we are all enraged/ aggrieved and hurt. Right now we all feel for what has happened and therefore right now, we all want to do something.

But change doesn't happen over night, does it? Revolutions don't come about just like that. Such things require time and slow and steady working. Such things require long term unity, diligence and patience. So now I ask us again, are we going to do anything about this? Do we have it in us to bring about the change and the revolution that is actually required?

Chances are we will all wonder "But what can we do?". Well I think there are things we can do - small things but meaningful things, things that will bring about a change slowly but surely.

We can all start with NOT FORGETTING what has just happened. We should NOT let this angst, this anger fizzle out. We should not fall prey to our own weakness of "going with the flow" this time around. Why should only those who have suffered be the only ones to remember this? Do we also have to go through a personal loss to then remember tragedies like these?

I think not. Enough has happened for us to keep this alive. Only if we keep this memory alive, will we be resolute about making India a better and a safer place to live in. Only if we remember all those innocent lives taken in this brutal act of terrorism, will we want to be a part of the slow revolution that is sure to take place.

So remember we must and to make sure we do that, I for one will try and write as much and as often on this forum as possible. I am not expecting any of us to dedicate our lives to this cause - we are not Gandhis - but we surely can spare half an hour or so thinking about this everyday.

I will make sure I don't let this die inside me and I hope others agree with me and do the same.

I will continue writing on http://thejarbag.blogspot.com/ and request everyone to pour their thoughts as well on the platform. Today, we have the power of the Web - lets make the RIGHT use of it. It is not in vain when they say "Together we CAN make a difference". Like every drop counts, every thought counts and maybe thought after thought from our collective thinking will lead to something, someday.

A true Tribute - Tears and Fears or a real Awakening?

2008-11-29T01:18:00.000-08:00

Like the whole country, I have been glued to the TV from the time the traumatic saga started. Like the whole country, my heart bled for all the innocent lives that were lost in this savage act of inhumanity. And like the whole country, today, I am feeling not only proud but also thankful to our men in uniform for risking their lives for our safety.

But I am not sure if I am with the a lot of the country in the "show of sympathy" that actually is a "show of apathy".

I woke up this morning to realize that Major Sandeep Unnikrishnan was in the same school as I was and I in fact, remember seeing him in school. There was a grand report from our principal about how Sandeep was an outstanding student, an all rounder and someone to be proud of.

Immediately various ex-students started sending messages to each other to hold a payer service for the brave soul. Suddenly, there have been calls to and fro asking each other if they really remember Sandeep from school. Suddenly, there are conversations about how "i knew him" and "we did this" and "we did that".

What is wrong with us? Are we so pathetic that we latch on to anything for our 2 minutes of fame amongst our own peers?

In the last 10 years of me having left my school, any conversation around school has only been around Lara Dutta but never around anyone who might have joined the army because he was driven by patriotism. It is true that it takes death for most of us to remember a person and appreciate his worth but does this also mean that we count on such deaths to feel important about ourselves?

Can we, for a minute, give a thought to the nature of this death? This brave man fought terrorists face to face, took bullets in his body and saved his colleague's life before he gave his own. Such a death does not need sympathies for the martyr but requires an awakening for the cause.

Major Sandeep had wanted to fight for his country from the time he was a child. Major Sandeep had wanted to contribute to this country. Major Sandeep had been ready to give up his family and pleasures of young age to do something extra ordinary that 99% of us do not have the courage to even dream of.

Major Sandeep does not need our sympathies. Major Sandeep needs our support for the cause that he fought for and died for.

As does Mr. Hemant Karkare who also laid his life for the safety of all ours. It is scary to know that the head of ATS is no more, scary to realize that the brain behind ATS is no more and scary to imagine what might happen to all the progress he had made in the other terror attacks so far.

But there is no point being scared of what might happen and watching TV all day as mark of homage to the dead. Is this all we can do? Everyone has been asking on various forums about what can we do?

Well, there is substantial amount of stuff we can do!

For one, we can ensure that the media and the authorities do not forget the ATS Chief's un-finished work and compel them to continue his work and finish it with the same honesty and diligence that Mr. Hemant Karkare had been doing it till now. We must ensure that we do not let the authorities drop investigations behind the Malegaon blasts and let the corrupt and sick minded politicians win and benefit from this martyr's death.

Mrs. Karkare had expressed her anger with BJP and rightfully so. We can support her by not supporting such political elements that give rise to communal hatred.

I don't even know if Mr. Hemant Karkare fell prey to the terrorists or to an opportunistic political ploy where maybe, someone else killed him at the right time and at the right place. After all, he was being given death threats and was being condoned by Advani and the likes.

Just in case this might have been the reality, who's responsibility would it be to get justice? I usually don't imagine the regular junta to have the time, patience or inclination in matters as these but I also know that if we put our minds to it, we can get justice done.

After all, it was the 'aam junta' that got together after years of Jessica Lal's killing and got her real justice. So can we not get together for this, unite to fight against terror for our own safety, by ensuring that we create enough noise and pressure for the authorities to do only the right thing from now on?

Brave men have died in Mumbai. Brave men had died in Kargil. Brave men die every second day on the border. We might not be brave enough to give our lives but we can be human enough to give little time, little thought and a conscious effort towards this cause. We can keep these memories alive and make sure we do not take our eyes off from what the authorities are doing and ensure we are a part of a better India, a safer India.

Cut the emotional crap

2008-11-28T23:55:00.000-08:00

60 long hours. Possibly the 60 longest hours for many. And a whole nation struck numb.

This seems to be the reality of the worst terror attacks of the century ever. Top cops have laid their lives, hundreds of innocent people have died, hundreds of families broken, children orphaned and millions right now feeling emotional and enraged.

Stories are frantically being filed on the web world about traumatic experiences of those who suffered and those who saw others suffer. News papers are filled with possible anecdotes of the survivors and those who spent long hours in anticipation of their probable end.

I am sitting in Bangalore and only being able to watch TV and read the papers to know whats happening to my own people in Mumbai. My younger brother lives in Colaba and frequents Leopold often. He is safe. I am happy but I am not relieved. My blood froze when the papers detailed out Sabina's last sms to her husband that read "they are in my bath room".

With no exaggeration, I had tears in my eyes when I read that one of the Taj interns was shot down by the terrorist who had been imposing as an intern at the hotel for the last few months. The words of this dying young boy to his family over the phone were "my friend has shot me".

My heart filled with pride not only when the brave men in uniform went into the clutches of death only to do their duty but also when an ordinary white collared Taj GM did his duty all the while his own family was burning to death.

There are and will be hundreds of spine chilling stories that will be the only remnants of this tragedy, which in itself is a tragedy. Yes, we need to KNOW what has happened but there is more we also need to FEEL about what has happened.

Getting emotional and praying for those who lost their lives and their worlds is weak. Lighting candles and maintaining 2 minutes silence if superficial. Praising Mumbai and its spirit for not having altered their course of life despite facing the most beastly attack on humanity is expected.

But is this all we are capable of doing? Is there nothing else we feel or are capable of feeling?

Like all others, I am not sure what I am supposed to feel when I hear on TV that there is unfinished dinner still on plates of dead diners in the ruins of Taj, that the floors are filled with blood and that they still cannot ascertain the number of casualties.

I am not sure how I am supposed to react when I realize that the brave Unnikrishnan was actually in the same school as I and that I was in 9th when he was the house captain and as a junior, I had looked up to him and hoped that one day even I would become the school captain too.

I don't know how to react to such piece of information but I do know that I feel something, something more than just sympathy and pity.

Look at these pictures (http://www.boston.com/bigpicture/2008/11/mumbai_under_attack.html) and tell me if I am wrong in feeling anger. Tell me if I am wrong in feeling that we all need to do something about this. Tell me if I am wrong in realizing the futility of our own lives when we face something as abominable as this and yet are helpless?

This is as close as we can get to the feared clutches of terrorism and even if this does not move us in wanting to stand united against terrorism, then possibly nothing will.

And yes, that brings us to, what can we do? We - the educated, sensible, thinking individuals that comprise the minority of the society, we who have decided to live in sanitized environments, we who have so far been FEELING for various atrocious attacks being made on mankind but we who have so far done nothing.

What can we do? I think, to begin with, lets stop getting emotional and start thinking rational. Ask ourselves, do we deserve democracy? Do we deserve to be ruled by uneducated third rate gundas? Well, if no, then lets stand together and demand for a Military rule that is not governed by any party, any religion or any caste.

A Military rule might make our lives a bit less exciting and fun but it will at least make our lives safer. Military rule might impose strict rules and laws on the lives of the affluent, but it will make the lives of less fortunate safer. Don't we want that? Are we so selfish that we cannot see the pain and trauma that "they" go through?

The men in uniform have proven time and again that they are only ones worth trusting our lives with. Whether it be Kargil or Mumbai, the men in uniform have risked their lives for our peace. And men who can do that are men we should trust. Not our opportunistic politicians who leave no situation un-touched, how ever grave it might be.

I shudder to think that maybe LK Advani will be our next PM and its is SHAMEFUL for me to be ruled by a man who is solely responsible for Babri Masjid and its aftermath till date. It is SHAMEFUL for me to know that either I don't vote or vote mindlessly. It is SHAMEFUL for me to face the fact that despite all the progress, we the thinking individuals place such little thought in the matters of our country.

I want to do something about this. I want to be a part of making India safer for the 'aam junta'. I want Military Rule imposed for the next 1 year, because to my mind that seems to be the only solution.